Here’s a little story about the quiet power of emotional intelligence in business… Through a transformative conversation, a former colleague recognised the value of a female perspective and the strength found in listening, adaptability, and empathy. Emotional intelligence fosters resilience and growth.
True Story: I had a call this week with a former colleague – a brilliant salesman now thriving in his new role. A few years ago, I gave him some honest feedback in a weekly catch-up about how he showed up – not just in high-stakes meetings, but internal ones too. He often dominated the room without realising, and without ill intent.
At the time, we were in a business where masculinity was praised and in over supply.
Not just in behaviour, but in the motivational language: win-at-all-costs. Fast, loud, focused. Hunt to kill.
And yet, over half the workforce identified as female.
Laser focus has its place. But it wears thin when there’s little else.
No space for reflection, presence, or adaptability. Win or lose, with no middle ground.
Sadly, there was favouritism for those who mirrored that energy- leaning into bravado, competitive metaphors, dominant presence. That was the language of success. And unsurprisingly, the SLT was almost entirely male.
But what happens when you lose?
When something doesn’t land? When the pace breaks?
That’s where real growth lives- in the recalibration.
That’s what I shared with my colleague at the time: if you stay in the same lane, using the same tools, you’ll get the same results. But step into new ground- and the learning sharpens your edge. It builds resilience and clarity.
That conversation stuck with us both. He said to me recently:
“You really taught me to see the power in having a softer side in business. You showed me what it’s like to be a woman in that kind of environment — and it’s changed how I now operate.”
That landed deeply.
Because here’s the thing: I’ve spent nearly 30 years in this industry – leading in tough rooms, building high-performing teams, and delivering results.
But the toolkit that’s served me best?
👂 Listening more than I speak
🧠 Observing before reacting
🪞 Mirror-and-matching energy in the room
🤝 Knowing when to hold space, and when to let it breathe
💬 Choosing words with care- tone, pace, content and clarity over noise
None of that’s fluffy.
None of it’s weak.
It’s strategic. It’s powerful.
There’s a place in business for presence. For softness. For emotional intelligence- and yes, a more feminine energy.
Not performative empathy- real EQ, grounded in awareness and trust.
If I’ve learned anything, it’s this:
Even the sharpest strategy and high energised work places stagnate if they neglect to bring everyone with them.
🤝 People. 🔄 Process. 🧠 Integrity.
Strength doesn’t always shout.